Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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