Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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