those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
