Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
