he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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