I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
