If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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