we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
