And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Green mimosas i think yes
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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