chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
