i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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