Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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