you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
