I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize