god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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