Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
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Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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