i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
