no. you can't hotbox the world.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
