I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
