Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
