So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
