R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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