Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
