People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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