Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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