hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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