Say something about gay babies.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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