i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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