and you said cock pushups were impossible
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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