His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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