i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
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If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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