She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize