She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
