Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
