people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize