I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
