she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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