I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
