so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize