You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
