when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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