Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
