george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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