Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
