Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
