Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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