The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
