Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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