airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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