There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
