It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
