Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
