i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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