Pappa wants mamma naked
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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