somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
