my mouth tastes like poor choices
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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