So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
