party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sex in the backyard? Check.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
