didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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